DISCLAIMER: I am not making this up!
On August 7, 2008, news outlets announced that Bernann McKinney sold her house to pay a South Korean laboratory $50,000 to have her beloved pit bull, Booger, cloned. The laboratory used a 2 year old frozen piece of Booger's ear to produce five little Boogers named: Booger McKinney, Booger Lee, Booger Ra, Booger Hong, and Booger Park.
McKinney was bereft when her beloved Booger passed away with cancer in 2006. She considered Booger to be a hero for saving her life by attacking another one of her dogs, a mastiff, that was mauling her. She contends that the mastiff attacked her because he went crazy after being given ten times the recommended dose of medicine he was taking to remedy a bee sting. The mastiff purportedly shredded her left arm to the elbow, tore open a leg, and nearly removed fingers from her right hand. In some accounts, she says that she had her arm amputated by the dog and reconstructed by doctors.
While confined to what is shown in a photo to be a motorized scooter, McKinney claims that though completely untrained, Booger became her service dog, pulling her scooter when the batteries were dead and pulling off her socks and shoes. “I was in a wheelchair, and my arms were in braces for a long time — I couldn’t use my hands. He could unlock a door with his teeth, he could answer the phone, he could do the laundry. He was my hands." He could even dial 911. [see above link]
McKinney determined she would keep three of the puppies and donate two to be trained as service dogs. She eventually wants to create a service dog training facility that she will name "Booger's Place."
[DISCLAIMER: I am still not making this up!]
While still in Seoul, reporters called Bernann McKinney to ask if she was the Joyce McKinney who had abducted, chained up and raped a Mormon missionary in England in the summer of 1977. After initially denying it, she later admitted that she was indeed the Joyce McKinney who had been involved in what became known as the "manacled mormon case" in the tabloids during in the 1970s.
Twenty five year old Joyce McKinney met 19 year old Kirk Anderson in Provo, Utah in 1975. They had sex and Anderson, a mormon, felt remorseful and guilty about it. He ended the relationship and confessed to his bishop who arranged for Anderson to go to England to do missionary work. He left without telling McKinney where he was going. But a determined and unrelenting McKinney hired a private detective and followed him to England two years later. She recruited another man, obtained a bottle of chloroform, a toy gun, mink lined handcuffs, and a romantic 17th century stone cottage and then she kidnapped Anderson. She shackled and chained him to a bed and forced him to have sex against his will. Anderson claims that though he was not physically restrained during the two subsequent sex acts, he had sex unwillingly and feared being chained up again if he refused. After three days, Anderson escaped and McKinney and her accomplice, Keith May, were arrested. Both McKinney and May were held pending the trial for 3 months.
In her pretrial statements, McKinney contended that she was trying to rescue Anderson from the clutches of the Mormon church. She believed him to be sexually repressed and unable to enjoy sex because of an oppressive mother. She consulted The Joy of Sex and several men and learned that "bondage sex" in which the woman is the aggressor can be therapeutic for men such as Anderson. McKinney contended that the sex was a therapeutic bondage sex game that was consensual. One wonders about the chloroform in that case...
It was judged that McKinney's mental health was deteriorating in jail, so both McKinney and May were released on bond. Shortly later, they skipped bail by obtaining fake passports and posing as deaf/mutes in a mime troupe.
When McKinney got to the United States, she disguised herself as a nun for a while. After learning that England had convicted her in abstentia but did not wish to extradite her, she ditched the nun habit went a completely different direction.
In 1979, the FBI arrested her for the false passports and gave her a suspended sentence.
In 1984, she was arrested for allegedly harassing or stalking Anderson again. She allegedly was found outside his workplace with rope and handcuffs in her trunk.
When her neighbors in Newland, North Carolina, where she lived until 2006, read about Bernann/Joyce and her cloned dogs, they offered up still more stories.
She allegedly was banned from two local veterinary clinics.
She allegedly initiated myriad lawsuits against people in her home town. Those people included her parents whom she evidently blame for allowing her mastiff to be stung by a bee. She has also initiated lawsuits against police officers and a magistrate. She has also been hit with some lawsuits, some by 3 previous lawyers she allegedly had not paid.
"Stuart Elgrod, the lawyer who defended her in 1977, now shuns her ('Not her again! She always was a nutter,' Mrs Elgrod told The Times. 'Every so often she finds us and drives us mad."
The Avery County Sheriff stated that there are several charges on file against McKinney for passing bad checks, assault on public officials and 2004 animal cruelty charge alleging she failed to take proper care of a horse. That charge was dropped.
There were also outstanding warrants for her. One sought her arrest for communicating a threat against another woman. There was also an oustanding warrant from Carter County, TN where she was arrested and charged with aggravated burglary, contributing to the delinquency of a minor, and speeding. She allegedly enlisted a 15 year old boy to burgle a house in order to obtain money to buy a prosthesis for her three-legged horse.
How can this story end? With a movie, of course.
Once again, with indebtedness, to Vintage:
I am not making this up!
Sources
i heard rick james' Super Freak playing in the background during this fine read.
ReplyDeletefantastic job snack!
A service dog training facility named "Booger's Place", dedicated to a dog who could answer the phone and do laundry. Makes perfect sense...
ReplyDeleteThank you craven! Super Freak is surely the soundtrack for this story.
ReplyDeleteReally, how could you NOT clone a pit bull that does your laundry.
I'm rarely at a loss for words....OMG..............
ReplyDeleteOkay, I think all psychologists should make their patients read this to gain a better perspective on their own problems.
oh dubv, you must have missed the BAILIE family
ReplyDeletemaking people at a loss for words is just part of what me and snack sized dog do.
I hear ya, DubV, I made very little commentary, and just tried to put together all the weirdness I found....because there's nothing you can say...except omg and wow!
ReplyDeleteYup Yup
ReplyDeleteOh yes, the subtle restraint in which it was written made it even better.
ReplyDeleteSo let's see. She travelled to another country, kidnaps and rapes someone. She is not punished, and 30 years later there is a film celebrating her.
ReplyDeleteDouble-standard, anyone?
So well done! Who can forget Joyce Bernann McKinney? I recall laughing so hard when the 2008 articles came out that I was in pain. People had wanted DogsBite.org to blog about it, but I just couldn't get myself to. The pairing of a pit bull named Booger and DogsBite was never meant to be. Furthermore, the Seoul-base cloning company, RNL Bio, was headed by Lee Byung-Chun a former colleague of disgraced scientist Hwang Woo-suk, whose cloned human stem-cells were revealed as fake in 2005. So the Booger story (and Joyce Bernann McKinney) had to be fake too right? Wrong! After the scandal, Hwang started his own pet-cloning business. Now Hwang and Lee are battling it out in patent court.
ReplyDeleteNo, dogsbite it was wise of dogsbite not stoop to this looniness!
ReplyDeleteThey're not called Nutters for nothin'!!
ReplyDeleteI frickin' swear...You couldn't make this stuff up if you tried!
This story is so, so weird. Fantastically weird. It is so weird, that I cannot decide how to feel about it. Is it hilarious? Offensive? Does it piss me off? And why can't I take my eyes off these tabloids? Booger? Cloning? Whaaat? I am staring at the screen with my mouth open.
ReplyDeleteGREAT JOB!!!
Ro Martinet @gmail.com
mckinney is the mother of all nutters. she is super nutter!
ReplyDeleteI think this story is great. Really this all happened? I just finished watching McKinney's movie and left me in awe. Unbelievable how Anderson totally was totally into his religion and didn't know any better to try and fight for love. Religion is very strong if thats what you grew up around, thats all you will know. I wish i had a Booger... that is such a great and fancinating story.... Im in love. If McKinney needs help with her book, I'm all ears and hands.. McKinney I wish you the best of luck and can't wait for the book!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the laughs!!! This is awesome! Yes the mother of all nutters! I have said it before and I'll say it again....Nutters fit the definition of "Psychopaths!!!!" And here it is, ladies and gents! Psychopath #1! There is NO FRIGGIN WAY a dog can do your laundry for ya. They can help, as my service dog does, but DAMN! A dog that can do laundry , answer the phone, undress you, all without any training! And to top it off, it's an ignorant, ugly ass pit bull!!!! Hilarious!!!! This is Bull SHIT! I mean PIT BULL SHIT!!!! lol
ReplyDeletePit bulls are amazing, intelligent, loving dogs. You are the ignorant one.
DeleteI actually met her this week and she had one of the booger dogs with her. She is something else. She doesn't look like the model anymore. I did the google search and you guys had one of the best stories of her journey. A few others had some different details, but almost the same information.
ReplyDeleteAmong her late wiggle-butt's talents were also cross-stitching and tampon changes.
ReplyDelete(Both are about as plausible as the rest of her bullshit)
Classic nutter. Her own deluded perceptions and wants are paramount over the well-being of others. Extra disturbing is her fan base (Deanna). Using someone's religion as an excuse to rape, harass, and stalk someone--not valid in this or any other dimension. No one would swallow garbage like a pedophile justifying sexual assault on religious grounds (warren Jeffs, anyone??) this is the same.
while working in a kennel bored and training facility in ontario california , I knew this woman nut, who did sum weird shit in and around her dogs. first off let me put this out there, she was not attacked by a mastif , her very own dog ripped her arm almost off. the dogs name was baby. this was a very vicious dog , nobody could walk much interact with this dog. then a few months later , while putting her dog away in its cage , this pit turned on me so quick , I recieved bites to the kidney , partial amp. to left hand , along with what now is left of my disfigured left leg. when the attack was over and the emt was carring me to the ambulance she proceeded to attack me!!! yes bleeding all over going into shock she was furious at me. of course no hands we put upon me but she was screaming the most horrible things to me threats . her dog was ordered to be put down some months later. this dogs name was jazz baby. this dog did not display any aggressive behavior in the pastbut was tired of being locked up. her dogs were to dangerous to be taken out. went to court after she filed charges for animal cruelty on the owner and my self . the owner did not hesitate for a second to go in and save my life. the owner of the facility. it was hell going to court, long story short , i got nothing in the end not even one apology. there is so much more to this story but i just put the basics dow n. in the end i got ugly scares , fear of going out side , not letting my kids outside in fear of loose dogs.went from a married mother of three, to a failed marriage , lost time with kids i was a full breast feeding mother until that day, couldnt even hold my baby. they put what they could back of my hand , ok i m going to stop now b4 it starts messing with me. but anyone wants to hear the story i am happy to tell. i have pix too if you wanted to publish, its a very interesting story with proof of facts. email me chickenshh@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteI cannot understand why the Pro-Pit people have not adopted this adorable woman and made her the flagship of their movement.
ReplyDeleteShe and Dr Wu-Suck could have achieved much together. In fact, she could have become MRS Wu-Suck.
It is a matter of deep regret that this did not happen, for so many reasons.
Actually, I could overthink this whole story and become quite unwell - unable to sleep, clawing at my own arms, wandering inappropriately wearing a dress made of bacon-wrappers, barking at cats in the garden, rumbustiously singing songs from The Best of Bon Jovi at 78rpm whilst driving my car from the passenger seat.... you catch my drift.
It is rare that one encounters such bold madness; a madness that knows not of itself, but is complete and perfectly formed TO itself.
The domain of this Supreme Nuttress has left me quivering with apoplexy shot through with revulsion and a small toot of delight. I know not what to do with myself after this, so I shall bid you goodbye. If life ever becomes boring, predictable and monotonous again, I will return to Joyce and her jolly japes again.
Thank you.