Myth 43: My dog can’t feel love for me the way humans do.
‘He doesn’t love you’, says the trainer and the shelter personnel with a smug smile, ‘it’s just that you give him dinner every day.’ They think they are being scientific by saying this. What they don’t know is that they are greatly overestimating what human love is.
You see, dogs don’t just love any old body anymore than we do. Our love grows as we spend time with someone and find that this is a pleasant experience. This person fulfils all kinds of needs and longings we have, much better than anyone else does. S/he listens better and understands us better than anyone else. S/he brings us small presents, gives us the feeling that our company is wonderful, is a great lover, is there for us when we have a problem, and so on. Just seeing our beloved awakens a feeling of happiness in us, because of all the pleasant and joyful things his or her presence means. The other becomes our ‘home’ because we feel so safe with him or her. In the end, we call this love.
As you can see from the previous paragraph, human love is, in essence, and with all the Hollywood trappings taken off for a sec, nothing more than a conditioned reaction to a conditioned reinforcer, a result of associating him or her with the many primary reinforcers we’ve received in his/her presence. Or to say it ordinary language, our own love is a learned reaction to something (our beloved) that we now experience as a signal that many of our needs are about to be met.
Novels, Hollywood and the advertising industry have adorned our ‘love’ with all kinds of romantic fantasies. We fell for it. Most of us believe that human ‘love’ strikes suddenly, and that it is magical, uplifting and eternal, selfless, unselfish, and without any expectation of personal gain. But this is just a belief. The statistics show a different picture. Most of the time, we love the other as long as s/he brings the wage packet home, cooks for us, gives us sexual satisfaction, and as long as s/he doesn’t nag too much or ask too much of us. The statistics show that we often (secretly) cheat, that others of us have a pattern of being serially and only shortly ‘in love’ and monogamous, and that yet others walk out the door the instant something younger or prettier or richer comes along. When we do stay together, it’s often hard work. The heavenly image of our love isn’t truly justified, because it turns out that we don’t really behave all that differently from a dog.
Which brings us back to the dog. You understand his needs with a glance. Wonderful things happen for him whenever you’re around, making his life interesting and fun. He feels safe and sheltered as long as you’re at his side. He enjoys your company. When he sees you he is filled with real joy and happiness, he misses you when you’re gone, and he is willing to give up other things to stay with you. He is much more willing than your human partner to make compromises with you and to try and meet your wishes. He doesn’t get bored with you because someone else pets him better. He immediately forgives every mistake the instant you stop making it. If he is re-homed, and he seems happy in his new place, this isn’t because he’s forgotten you. He does miss you at first, terribly — but he resigns himself to his fate because we give him no other choice. If he runs into you a couple years down the road, he’ll jump for joy at the very sight of you, without feeling the least bit of resentment because you left him.
Fact: If you ask me, this is love. Don’t let anyone take this away from you just because they think they’re being ‘scientific.’
25 comments:
Didn't know where to post this, but I thought it might answer some of the questions some of us have about why our animal control officers support the pit bull breeders and let pit bulls attack us, etc
This was Massachusetts. I can only imagine how animal control operates in some backwaters of Missouri, Arkansas, etc
Think about people like this involved in public safety issues and enforcement
http://www.bostonherald.com/news/regional/view/20100529animal_officer_charged_in_theft/srvc=home&position=also
Animal officer charged in theft
By Ira Kantor and Renee Nadeau Algarin
Saturday, May 29, 2010 - Added 5h ago
Westford animal control officer was arraigned yesterday for allegedly stealing expensive town equipment and nearly a dozen department-issued weapons, including a semiautomatic handgun that turned up in a Lowell drug bust, authorities said.
Michael Harrington, 45, of Tyngsboro, pleaded not guilty in Ayer District Court yesterday at his arraignment on charges of stealing eight Smith & Wesson handguns, two shotguns, and a rifle; larceny over $250 and receiving stolen property.
According to Middlesex District Attorney Gerard T. Leone Jr.’s office, a Westford official suspected Harrington in the April theft of equipment from the school department’s maintenance facility. Harrington was later caught on surveillance video walking out of that building with an $800 power broom, which was found at his home, prosecutors alleged.
Harrington also allegedly stole 11 guns issued to him and the animal control department and then sold them on the street. One weapon, a Smith & Wesson semiautomatic handgun, was reportedly recovered in an April 9 Lowell drug raid.
“This defendant abused his authority and the public’s trust and has seriously compromised the safety and security of the people of Massachusetts by distributing the stolen guns,” Leone said.
Harrington was ordered held on $5,000 bail, said Cara O’Brien, Leone’s spokeswoman.
O’Brien was unable to identify Harrington’s lawyer.
I agree and we would be wise to learn what love really is from our dogs. When things get rough, our dogs still stand by us, that's why we refer to it as "unconditional" love, much different from human love.
Thanks for making me cry. This is how my family feels about our Pit Bull.
That's how the Aguirre felt about their pit bull too....until it killed their 2 year-old on Thursday.
Anon, even if you truly felt that way about your pits but personally I would say you suffer only from the "I'm a special person because I (think) can control a dangerous animal" syndrome. That's the typical pit owner, particularly those mentally challenged ones, that come to this blog and make comments. Anyone who hasn't got enough sense to subject their family to the unpredictability of the pits, with all the evidence to back that up, relying on myths to justify owning a pit, is loony tunes in my book. Love does not conquer years of breeding for a particular trait - killing. You are living in a dream world, the victims of pits have to live in this one.
So what was it your kid? You pussys need to get over yoursellvs. If you dont want your kid killed put him in a car seat becase that is how the die. If you dont want your pussy dog killed by another dog get a pit bull. So simple Bitchs –-- pit bulls are the only breed that matters! I would never own any other kind.
The owners of the mauled and killed dogs, cats, horses, ponies, goats, all manner of peaceful animals killed by pit bulls operating on their genetic heritage... those folks loved their animals too.
Will you cry for them Anon?
yippee! the pit nutters are finally showing their true colors. or as anon 3 would say trew culerz.
RapeRackAnon, you don't deserve to own "any other kind". Hopefully your pit will stay "trew bluz" to it's "culerz" and take your sorry ass out, closed casket funeral for the family, if you have one.
How does anyone get this evil?
"Anonymous said...
So what was it your kid? You pussys need to get over yoursellvs. If you dont want your kid killed put him in a car seat becase that is how the die. If you dont want your pussy dog killed by another dog get a pit bull. So simple Bitchs –-- pit bulls are the only breed that matters! I would never own any other kind."
These are the remarks of an insane person.
And the Pit Bull Breeder Babykillers show up......
They really do enjoy the fact that their dogs are killing children. And that they are getting away with it.
April29, thank you. My thought exactly.
The owners of pit bull fighting dogs don't care that people's beloved pets are getting killed by pit bulls in record numbers.
As far as pit bulls go, they kill their own owners.
Pit bulls are an aberration. They don't act like normal, loving companions because they are not bred to be loving companions. They are bred to attack and kill.
Loved, properly treated pit bulls ATTACK AND KILL THEIR OWN OWNERS.
Pit bulls are the defect in the dog world, and people own them not to enjoy companionship, but to control and threaten and injure other people and pets.
craven you have the lowdown on the Atomic Dogg ABKC thing connected to the child just killed in San Bernardino
The Atomic Dogg people own and run the American Bully Kennel Club Registry
http://cravendesires.blogspot.com/2010/04/i-dislike-sleazy-lawyers-as-much-as-i.html
The AKKC type people and their dogs and children
This one is in Riverside
http://xtremebullypitbulls.com/.
In that link you posted on dogsbite.org about the San Bernardino child killed by the bully pit, it mentions a bloodied T shirt reading "You can move a mountain. You can't budge a dog."
Reminded me of what they brag of in the site I just sent a link to, Riverside CA breeder
A personal account of a traumatic attack on this person's dog by a pit bull
http://hubpages.com/hub/My-Dog-Has-Three-Legs
I'm not sure what anon1 got all weepy about. Semyonova's description of HUMAN LOVE is completely unromantic and says human love is often selfish and self-serving. Is that why she cried? Someone finally explained how she really feels?
Semyonova gives a lot more credit to dogs than to people in this piece. I'm not sure what my dogs have given up to stay with me. They've received no enticing offers, to my knowledge.
The "so what if it isn't your kid" comment is lovely, and shows the depravity of these nutters.
Some of them seem to go so far as "so what, its only my kid, not my beloved pit bull." The updated info on the Aguirres seems to indicate they love Bullys more than they cared for the safety of their kid.
I love how nutters always claim that pit bulls are so loyal even as the pits decimate their own families. Nothing about the illustrious heritage of being bred to be tied to heavy chain your whole life with occasional killing sprees mixed in speaks to loyalty.
So what was it your kid? You pussys need to get over yoursellvs. If you dont want your kid killed put him in a car seat becase that is how the die. If you dont want your pussy dog killed by another dog get a pit bull. So simple Bitchs –-- pit bulls are the only breed that matters! I would never own any other kind.
Look dude. I am a PB lover as well, but you are taking it too far.
Are you saying you love your Pit more than a child?
You are a heartless pathetic loser for posting that statement.
Are you saying you love your Pit more than a child?
You are a heartless pathetic loser for posting that statement.
-----------------------------------
Your a pathetic loser for saying thats what i said. Im saying the people dont know the kid and wont care unless a PB did it so they can make a big deal about it because kids die from all kind of things all the time. The prob is all the new PB people dont respect PBs right and cause the probs like the dead kid. Back in the day no body ever knww about PBs and it was cool --- now all these bitchs cant handle PBs so all these other punk bitchs say ban ban ban. They just need to get a pussy dogs and stay in there house --- not fuck with us.
"not fuck with us"
"Us" being, of course, your neighborhood dog fighter.
Or maybe the dog fighter who is a firefighter in your town, or a teacher, or a deputy, or a little league coach, or a scientist, or a special education teacher, or a football player, or someone who receives university grants and advanced degrees, or any one of a number of other trades because most dog fighters are middle class people, and have included people from these professions and more..
They are all around us.
They breed pit bulls, and they claim their pit bulls are "pets" or "show dogs."
It worked for a while.
YIPPEE! YIPPEE! my dogfightingscumbuddies from fedsonline have finally arrived! YIPPEE! YIPPEE!
http://www.apbt.online-pedigrees.com/
welcome backwoods, abn, bond, knight, spartman, boze, boltcutter, bullseye, endz, duval, darken, mr greenwood, memory maker, BDC, dodgecity, jokr, dirty combine, wardogs, dhunter, TPE....
hey so glad guys, glad you could make it!! anybody gives you guys ANY trouble, you let me know right away! crvndesires@gmail.com
pssst...hardware, dude take a chill pill man. you know what they say about those that make the most noise ;)
I feel sadness for the loss of any child who dies of cancer or some other disease, or if they die in an accident of some sort, it's very heartwrenching when a child loses their life. But, when a child dies because they were murdered, by a human or a dog, it goes to another level, it's not just sad, it's outrageous and should never have happened. It doesn't matter if it's my child or a complete strangers child, I will feel the pain of the loss of a child. Anyone who has a heart and a conscience would feel the same.
You fuck with us, we fuck back and I guarantee that we are a lot better at it than you'll ever be, Anon/Dogman. Your time has come and no longer can you hide like the snakes you are.
I agree with april29, how does anyone get this evil?
Dawn, thanks for pointing to this in a recent post.
The idea that animals can't feel love is a trick of definition and a way to feel scientific, as noted.
You could show that a dog has emotions that map onto parts of all the basic ingredients one would agree is part of human love, but some would still deny that dogs can love. They are simply defining love as something only humans, by definition, can do. Same thing with people that assert that dogs can't reason. They define reason in a way that only a human, or maybe human-like alien, could do it. No matter evidence was presented, they'd still "nope, still not exactly what us people do!"
Dogs obviously feel emotions and bonding and have affection. Turn those up a notch and add a dash of human intellect, and you have something worthy of a cheesy romance novel.
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