Sunday, March 27, 2011

Heidi found the pit bull


a dog was found near the iowa river. it was approximately 6 months old, dead and missing its head. while the authorities are busy looking for the head, trying to figure out if the dog was dead before the decapitation and the person responsible, the pit nutters have declared the victim to be a "pit bull".

the victim is likely a pit bull given the law of averages, ie violent fucktards have really taken a shine to pit bulls but other breeds of dogs are tortured and killed every day. i think it's funny how they say i can't identity a pit bull with its head, yet the nutters can identity a 6 month old headless body as a pit bull.

this "pit bull" story was picked up by over 10 different sources:

www.whotv.com "a pit-bull or some sort of bull breed"

www.timesrepublican.com "pit bull or boxer dog"

www.kcci.com "a pit bull"









there were more but you get the idea.

31 comments:

Bagheera Kiplingi said...

I have found one of the best ways to find the pit bull is to follow the scalpings.

http://www.nj.com/hudson/index.ssf/2011/03/pit_bull_that_ripped_scalp_of.html

april 29 said...

That, and dead cats...

cravendesires said...

in addition to scalpings and dead cats, look for amputees, eviscerated poodles, decapitated yorkies, defaced goats, shredded horses, free spay and neuter, free CGC, free obedience classes, liars, gullible morons, felons, tattoos...

Dude, I Bagged Ur Pit said...

I'm wondering how well they can estimate the age without a head. It seems like a headless boston terrier and a few others could pass for a 6 month old pit bull, but that wouldn't help with the "victim" status they want.

Sad about the dog, but as you point out, pretty damn funny about the pit bull advocates. Nobody can identify a pit bull for sure once the dog has done something heinous, but a dog missing all the pit bull features seen in their head? No problem! (LOL!)

As for tattoos... I'm thinking of the full sleeve, neck and face tats you see on pit owners. And somewhere in that inky mess you’ll find some goat heads, satanic pentagrams and anarchy symbols. Not so much the fire helmet over a medical caduceus or the tribal band with a badge or star with "T & C PD" in the center. (T & C for Taze and Cuff – not to be confused with “TLC” :-)

Maybe I’ll get a tattoo someday… a tat of a pit bull turned paws up with its tongue hanging out, with a smoking double barrel laying across it. Any artists out there? I need an avatar for my profile ;-)

snack sized dog said...

Don't forget free fencing!

This story must be on everyones favorites and pulled out every time you encounter the "no one can identify a pit bull"

Dude, I Bagged Ur Pit said...

Now that I think about it, where's the mystery? What is known to take the head off other dogs? Pit bulls! I can't help but wonder if this dog was kenneled with another pit bull!

bitbypit said...

Bagheera, we've been finding new pit bull scalpings (from the 80's actually) that would even make Craven shiver. Such as Jeremy Hale and Brandon Spradley...among others.

cravendesires said...

i have to figure out how to make active links in my comments.

P. said...

Craven, I almost threw up from laughing at this post. The nutters tell us we can't identify a pit with a head but lo and behold, they must be superhuman to be able to identify a pit without a head. At least it ain't quite as ugly.

DubV said...

I propose we come up with a formal name for the pit nutter logical system. I can't think of a snappy one off hand. The characteristics of it is that of a pseudo-science. Their system of thought is so flexible that it can take any information at all and use it to strengthen their hypotheses. It cannot be falsified in their minds. If something can prove everything, then it actually proves nothing (paraphrasing C. Hitchens there).

Lindsey said...

It may not sound very formal, but I call it pit bullshit.

april 29 said...

Thank you Lindsey, simple is always good.

cravendesires said...

jen demonstrates beautifully the pit nutter inability to grasp concepts beyond a second grade level.

i have never advocated rounding up pit bulls and euthanizing them. i have never advocated indiscriminately killing them.

i advocate dispatching them on the spot when they are attacking or threatening to attack.

a concept that i hope jen will someday master, perhaps in the 8th grade.

Dude, I Bagged Ur Pit said...

DubV said...
"I propose we come up with a formal name for the pit nutter logical system."

'Pitthetic Dementia?'

A conjugation of Pit and ‘thetic,’ (assertion/dogma,) with a loss or reasoning and orientation through various pathologies, 'dementia.'

Persons suffering from Pitthetic Dementia can recall prescriptive talking points for the purpose of justifying beliefs, but have lost the ability to reason independently or accept rational conclusions in conflict with these beliefs.

Non-clinical pejoratives in common use: pitiot, nutter, fucktard

snack sized dog said...

Brilliant!

Pitthetic Dementia -

Linguistically sound conjugation and its practically PATHETIC!

DubV said...

Yes, pitthetic dementia is my word of the day, maybe month.

I like pit bullshit too. Anyone else read this one?

http://press.princeton.edu/titles/7929.html

cravendesires said...

dude, you nailed it! it fits nicely with dubv's definition.

dubv, i've heard about this book but not read it. are you recommending it?

cravendesires said...

dude, check your email. i used to be able to draw but not anymore. now i like to play with photoshop.

Jake said...

DubV said -

http://press.princeton.edu/titles/7929.html

Added to my amazon wishlist.

snack sized dog said...

seriously, dubv, this sounds really good, but are you recommending it? or is it bullshit? :)

DubV said...

HIGHLY recommend it, and its short too. A philosopher discusses what bullshit is and why it is often worse than lying. Not to give much away, but lying at least recognizes a truth that is being transgressed. Totally applies to what we see here.

DubV said...

Can I make a suggestion? Given recent posts, perhaps a blog page open to just self-defense tactics and recommendations. It will be educational and draw nutters like a free spay/neuter clinic next to a meth house.

cravendesires said...

i have been working on a pit bull preparedness day since pit bull awareness day:
http://cravendesires.blogspot.com/2010/10/pit-bull-awareness-daynational-nutter.html

this is a big topic and an important one which i don't wanna screw up. but i suppose i could get something out there so there is place to have a discussion.

Anneliese said...

I live in Nebraska near Omaha. I saw this on the news last night. It didn't happen that far from us. We've got a massive shit bull problem here.
The whole time, I was wondering how they knew it was a pit bull. The pit nutters are always telling us that nobody can know any dog is a pit bull without doing a DNA test. But how does anybody know it's a pit bull if it doesn't have a fucking head? I call bullshit.

Dude, I BaggedYourPit said...

Got it Craven! Super thanks!

Dude, I BaggedYourPit said...

I’ve come up with a term to describe an inability to identify a pit bull, or belief that a pit bull cannot be identified by appearance, or a reciprocally irrational belief that a pit bull can be identified when viewing only remnants of a dog.

‘Pitplexia’

Pitplexic Disorder is a symptom and diagnostic indicator for Pitthetic Dementia.

cravendesires said...

PITPLEXIA!!!!!!!!

cravendesires said...

i submitted pitplexia and pitthetic dementia to the maul talk manual. i am working on a blog about pitthetic dementia.

DubV said...

Just typed this into youtube with promising hits I'll be watching

"Harry G. Frankfurt bullshit"

As aside, anyone else listen to the Skeptic's Guide to the Universe podcast. Since I'm giving out recommendations....

seaters8 said...

No such thing as a bad dog just a bad owner
http://thatsreallywild.com/smart-dogs/my-pitbulls-welcoming-my-son-home/?amp&amp

Jeff Borchardt said...

Q: What breed is this?

A: Depends

Q: Depends on what?

A: Did the dog pull a child from a burning building?

Q: Yes

A: It’s a pit bull

Read more: http://www.daxtonsfriends.com/2014/12/pit-bull-breed-identification/