Well, the pit bull apologia is "super fired up", again. The source of this week's nation wide temper tantrum is over the injustice suffered by deputy LANI BLAYLOCK and her pit bull when she was told her pit bull was not welcome on school grounds. The target of their deranged witch hunt is Superintendent Larry Glaze and the La Grande Oregon School District.
While the cyber nutters stir the pot and rally the troops, the BLUE MOUNTAIN HUMANE ASSOCIATION are proving themselves to be petty tyrants in a twisted game of chicken. The BMHA packed up their toys and are refusing to play with the school district. If they can't use pibbles in their dog bite safety program, they will not participate at all. that'll show 'em! The BMHA will punish the children by depriving them of information that could spare them serious injury and even save their lives while simultaneously placing the blame of any injuries from future attacks squarely on Supt Glaze for endangering children while pushing their pit bull agenda.
The BLUE MOUNTAIN HUMANE ASSOCIATION was quick to take the credit for a 3rd grader avoiding serious injury when he was recently attacked by a german shepherd and applied the knowledge he learned by "pretending to be a rock". Of course the good samaritan that came to the boy's aid by "waving a white bag" and scaring the man eater away might have had something to do with the boy escaping serious injury too. (who knew a white bag could be such a powerful weapon! certainly not the group of people who even after using a blow torch! could not stop a pit bull from attacking)
"He is absolutely wonderful around children."
Deputy LANI BLAYLOCK
I don't understand why a dog is even needed to teach dog bite safety. Unless they are simulating attacks and menacing behavior.
The pit bull apologia demands justice
CATHIE FALCK, president Blue Mountain Humane Association and office manager Union county sheriff's office
“We will not be providing dog bite-safety instruction in the La Grande School District. A breed ban is wrong, it is unfair. We feel that we need to take a stand. We should not be condemning a dog just because of its breed.”
FALCK left this comment on the BMHA facebook page but it has disappeared.
PENNY EIMS, a nutter examiner is clinging to the bizarro notion that dogs can be discriminated against (mind you, the laws regard dogs as PROPERTY that you can legally muzzle, crate, kennel, leash, tether, sterilize, vaccinate, dock, crop and tie to a rape rack) and states the "superintendent's narrow mind put the program in jeopardy" not the conduct of deputies LANI BLAYLOCK and CATHIE FALCK.
Stay at home mom and nutter examiner CARRIE McCORMICK won her 15 minutes of fame by calling the 86ing of BOMANI an "atrocity".
atrocity |əˈträsitē|
noun an extremely wicked or cruel act, typically one involving physical violence or injury
B-12 starved Vegan Warrior Princess SLOANE QUEALY-MINER has referred to the superintendent as "daft", "abusive" and "hostile" and is calling for his head. QUEALY-MINER is rallying her pit bull flash mob to bombard Glaze and the school board until they give into their demand of full reinstatement of pit bulls on school grounds. Pit bull advocacy is no stranger to valuing pit bulls above people and this nutter is no exception. QUEALY-MINER vociferously opposed the euthanasia of OREO, an abused pit bull in New York City. OREO was sentenced to death after the pit nutters at the ASPCA determined she could not be rehabilitated, a dog so dangerous she even attacked her handler. QUEALY-MINER is now dedicated to passing a law that will spare New York's most aggressive dogs from euthanasia.
can you say - histrionic?
What do we know about LANI BLAYLOCK and BOMANI?
For starters, LANI BLAYLOCK is a Union County Deputy Animal Control Officer.
In March she adopted BOMANI, an adult male pit bull of unknown history with injuries from either neglect or abuse. BLAYLOCK spent "months" training BOMANI, then began taking the male pit bull of unknown history to elementary schools to teach kids about dog bite safety.
BLAYLOCK'S other dogs are snack sized and I suspect this is BLAYLOCK'S first pit bull. The newbies are always the most rabid defenders of the breed.
On March 18th, BLAYLOCK posted a photo of her partially destroyed sofa. She attributed the damage to her "couch eater" and stated "This is what happens when your dog breaks outa his crate while you are work! LOL"
On mother's day, the animal control officer posted a photo of her hand with a single tiny tooth mark. BLAYLOCK stated she was bitten by a "lil puff ball" while walking her dogs. She jokes with a facebook friend about needing training on how to handle animals.
But the real facebook fun occurred on October 20th when Deputy Blaylock's panties were in bunch over being evicted from the school. Unfortunately, I am unable to link to it because BLAYLOCK deleted the incriminating evidence, so here are a couple of screen shots. You will want to click on them to view larger.
In this first conversation, BLAYLOCK tries to play the racist card and when a friend points out that pit bulls not people were "bred to fight and kill", BLAYLOCK shows her true colors by stating the Iraquis were bred to fight and kill.
In the second conversation, BLAYLOCK touts herself as a "highly trained" dog handler (see lil puff ball comment above) and then tries to play some kind of badge card, stating the kids were taught not to trust the judgment of cops. In essence, she is claiming the superintendent has not only insulted pit bulls but all law enforcement.
Conduct unbecoming of an officer
I find the conduct of all of these nutters unacceptable but the bullying by these two officers and the ignorance spewed about our current middle eastern enemies is down right disturbing. My hope is that BLAYLOCK was not only forced to remove her ignorant and hateful comments by her superiors but that she and FALCK were also reprimanded and forced to issue an apology to Glaze and the La Grande School District.
Law enforcement officers are held to a higher standard in their professional as well as private lives. I was unable to locate the Union County Oregon Sheriff's Code of Conduct but I have included a couple from various departments to give you an idea of what is expected from those who choose a career in law enforcement.
Union County, NC Sheriff
"The Office of Sheriff is the oldest public office in the United States. The Sheriff and his employees subscribe to the Law Enforcement Code of Ethics. Therefore they must hold themselves to a higher standard of conduct than other law enforcement officers and the general public."
Milwaukee County, WI Sheriff
"Private Life - Police officers will behave in a manner that does not bring discredit to their agencies or themselves. A police officer's character and conduct while off duty must always be exemplary, thus maintaining a position of respect in the community in which he or she lives and serves. The officer's personal behavior must be beyond reproach."
Whatcom County, WA Sheriff
"As a Law Enforcement Officer, my fundamental duty is to serve mankind; to safeguard lives and property; to protect the innocent against deception, the weak against oppression or intimidation, and the peaceful against violence or disorder; and to respect the Constitutional rights of all persons to liberty, equality and justice.
I will keep my private life unsullied as an example to all; maintain courageous calm in the face of danger, scorn or ridicule; develop self-restraint; and be constantly mindful of the welfare of others. Honest in thought and deed in both my personal and official life, I will be exemplary in obeying the laws of the land and the regulations of my department. Whatever I see or hear of a confidential nature or that is confided to me in my official capacity will be kept ever secret unless revelation is necessary in the performance of my duty.
I will never act officiously or permit personal feelings, prejudices, animosities or friendships to influence my decisions. With no compromise for crime and with relentless prosecution of criminal, I will enforce the law courteously and appropriately without fear or favor, malice or ill will, never employing unnecessary force or violence and never accepting gratuities.
I recognize the badge of my office as a symbol of public faith, and I accept it as a public trust to be held so long as I am true to the ethics of the police service. I will constantly strive to achieve these objectives and ideals, dedicating myself before God to my chosen profession...law enforcement."
Oregon State Police
"As a peace officer, I am the image of penal law and its warden. If I am to be esteemed and the law I typify respected, I must know my authority well and use it wisely. I shall neither exceed nor abuse it.
During my private and public life, I shall conduct myself with the highest degree of integrity and honesty. I shall at all times conduct myself in a manner which consistently maintains the public trust.
I shall be intolerant of dishonorable or unethical conduct by any person in the criminal justice community. As an Oregon State Police officer, I shall strive to be courageous in my professional and everyday life, and will take prudent and judicious action when faced with danger, scorn, or ridicule.
Although the way I choose to conduct my private life is a personal freedom, I accept responsibility for my actions while on or off duty. I will not become a party to conduct that is likely to, or does bring disrespect to myself, my fellow employees, or the Oregon State Police. To that end, I shall not engage in personal conduct that affects, or could be perceived to affect, impartiality in my official capacity.
I shall not use my position or authority for any personal gain or benefit. I shall refrain from seeking or accepting any gift, gratuity, or favor that is tendered, or could reasonably be perceived as being tendered, as an attempt to influence impartiality in my official capacity.
I shall bear faithful allegiance to the State of Oregon and the Oregon State Police and shall be loyal to the highest ideals of my profession. I will serve the public with due respect, concern, courtesy, and responsiveness without prejudice. I recognize the service to the public is beyond service to myself. As a police officer, I consider it a privilege, and the greatest honor that may be bestowed upon any person, to defend the principles of liberty."
You get the idea.
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la grande observer 10.19.11
la grande observer 10.21.11
33 comments:
GREAT DOG LOBBY CORRUPTION MOMENTS IN HISTORY:
1987:PIT BULL EXPERT SUMMIT AT TUFTS UNIVERSITY VERTERTINARY SCHOOL:
Findings....
Pit Bull Bites are worse
Pit Bulls attack without warning
Pits are being selected by those seeking aggression
Pits attack their owners more
Pits break containment and attack more
Yet they recommended against BSL.....due to "fairness" issues with America's three responsible Pit Bull owners.
http://news.google.com/newspapers?id=kQYyAAAAIBAJ&sjid=nQYEAAAAIBAJ&pg=5725,8459210&hl=en
216 have been killed by Pit Bulls since July 1987.
**Disclaimer...I wish I was making this up!
One would think that Ms. Blaylock and Ms. Falck would know that dog bite avoidance techniques that are effective with most dogs do NOT work on pit bulls. "Being a rock" or "being a tree" just gives the gripping dog a stationary target.
Well stated april 29!
FANTASTIC MUCKRAKING DAWN. It is frightening that Blaylock is a deputy sheriff with her poor judgment.
I don't see any reason that a dog needs to be part of the program at all. And certainly not a dog that had only been rescued a few months previously. We've all read accounts of pit bulls that the family claims was just the sweetest dog for YEARS before it "went pit bull." And the blowtorch story is really terrifying. They really won't let go.
Their "playing chicken" attitude shows that the "breed ambassador" thing is more important than the "safety education for children" thing.
Why do nutters always put the dogs before children?It really is disgraceful.
I can't believe she edited her comments. Why not just make the page private? Could it possibly be that she is a narcissistic attention-seeking drama queen? Yep. The comments she left up sure to seem to indicate that. It almost seems that she was looking for drama and controversy with her pit bull.
WAIT - I amend that. She's an apparently narcissistic attention-seeking drama queen with a badge and a gun! YIKES
If I were the school superintendent, I wouldn't have anything more to do with the Blue Mountain Humane Assoc. I'm sure he can find a rational and knowledgeable person to continue this program.
So many issues with this....it is HIGHLY unlikely that the city solitcitor or school board attorney would allow a pit bull into a classroom of kindergarteners. This is most likely a violation of district liability insurance. The fact that the handler has no college degree, or any formal credentials that would indicate she was and expert in canine behavior should concern parents. The article claims that the previous dog used in the program, a yellow lab, was "jumping on kids"; this proves that these dogs are untrained and NOT safe. The school board members are responsible for district policy regarding safety....they need to step up and stop this program. The PTO of this particular school should also be notified as to what is going on. There are a variety of curricula available to educators for teaching dog bite prevention, you don't need a demo dog to teach it. Most Health and Wellness curriculum have this as a component.
I will also say that, as a parent, I resent pit bull fanatics trying to convey the message to children that pit bull dogs are "safe" dogs to approach, regardless of how careful the children are. I have every right as a parent to tell my children NOT to approach certain dog breeds that are known to be unstable, or to not like strangers. Guarding or fighting breeds owned by complete strangers should never be approached by a child, regardless of what the owners say. I have told my children that they are NOT to attempt to pet certain types of dogs without me present, and only with my permission.
I think we have ALL learned that you can NEVER trust a pit bull owners assessment of their own dog's temperament. The reality is, the majority of pit bulls a child is likely to encounter in the community will NOT be safe...convincing very young children that pit bulls are all friendly, and should not be "judged" or "discriminated against" puts these children at risk. The safest thing for a child to be taught is to avoid coming into contact with these dogs.
Criticize the woman because she's a nutcase, not because she's a vegan. Real vegans aren't B-12 deficient and aren't defenders of fighting breeds. Could you imagine calling the typical pit nutter a "fiber-deprived carnivore"?
Wow, great job. I could only skim now, but I will return with a more thorough read. At the risk of stating the obvious and repeating a sentiment from another comment:
If it were really about helping kids avoid being bitten, then the humane assoc. would be more flexible in order to help the kids. Because they will not, this is obviously not simply about their stated goals for the program.
This is why dog expert status holds no weight for me. Someone's vast experience with dogs is of significantly less value if they are not able to effectively learn from that experience in the view of being aware of their own agendas, cognitive biases, deficiencies, and the like.
"I have every right as a parent to tell my children NOT to approach certain dog breeds that are known to be unstable, or to not like strangers. Guarding or fighting breeds owned by complete strangers should never be approached by a child, regardless of what the owners say."
this is such a good point. Apart from the insurance issue, which is a bottom line kind of thing, the superintendent is justified to exclude pit bulls simply because they're CONTROVERSIAL. It is not his place or that of some twit with a pit to decide for parents whether their kids should interact with pit bulls and be told they're safe.
And it should be spread FAR and WIDE that you cannot trust a nutter's judgment about their dog's temperament. Just a little while ago a child was severely mauled by an ampubull (with a bite history) after its owner told the child's mother the dog was friendly and could be pet.
Lani is being disrespectful of the school principal's charge to protect the kids. This is obviously about her own feelings here. I do not think any kid should be exposed to an animal on school grounds without parental consent. As far as the sage advice to act like a rock, I question this. Yes, it is perhaps the best course for a small child to protect their neck when being attacked, but if the dog has their neck it is time for the child to fight for their life and try to rip out the fucker's eyeballs.
On second thought, Lani may have a point with bringing in the pit bull for a realistic mauling simulation. If a kid is seriously attacked, it is statistically most likely to be a pit bull. Just teach the kids to fall into a fetal position every time they see a gripper.
Comment page here is a zoo and got closed.
http://www.lagrandeobserver.com/News/Local-News/Pit-bull-used-for-dog-safety-lessons-banned-from-LG-School-District
Pit nutters talk out of both sides of their mouths. On one hand, they will bemoan how irresponsible ownership and breeding are ruining this breed, or at least helping to create the negative perception. When they are in this mood, they will somewhat recognize that pit bulls are more dangerous. They will, however, apply the caveat that it is not about the breed's genetics but about the humans that are attracted to these dogs.
Okay, so when they are engaging in this conversation type they have admitted that in the reality we share, pit bulls are more dangerous, regardless of the underlying reason. The underlying reasons not matter when a child or anyone is making a decision that must be based upon deciding the probability of an event when full knowledge is not available or possible.
If a dog of breed X is usually more dangerous, then be more wary of breed X. It's that simple.
When pit nutters are in this somewhat more logical mode, they are actually admitting that discriminating based upon breed makes sense in most day-to-day situations, especially for a child less experienced in judging situations accurately. However, when someone applies this ability to discriminate shrewdly for safety reasons, they cry foul and act like whiny babies.
The pit bull advocacy movement and fan club are filled with people whose opinions cannot be trusted on any important issue.
"WAIT - I amend that. She's an apparently narcissistic attention-seeking drama queen with a badge and a gun! YIKES"
and that comes with greater responsibilities and expectations and higher standards.
BLAYLOCK and FALCK are a disgrace to the union county sheriff dept. i hope these two have been gagged, their hands appropriately slapped and forced into counseling.
and the sheriff should take this as evidence they need to tighten up their hiring standards.
"I think we have ALL learned that you can NEVER trust a pit bull owners assessment of their own dog's temperament."
i agree branwyne!
oh my pibble is safe!
"Why do nutters always put the dogs before children? It really is disgraceful."
This really cannot be emphasized enough Snack Sized Dog. I guarantee you that the vast majority of parents in the La Grande School District do not want a pit bull in a classroom AT ALL much less one handled by "narcissistic attention-seeking drama queen" Lani Blaylock.
The Blue Mountain Humane Association relies upon local donations. Union County residents, particularly parents of children in the La Grande School District, should be disgusted enough to stop making these donations. Cathie Falck may have drummed up some temporary PR in this mess, but the punch in the stomach in "donor rejection" comes in December and I hope Union County residents deliver a whopper to Falck's group!
Nice video!
It's amazing to me that people will defend any of the pit bull type dogs to the point of endangering other people, and especially children. Yet, they have no problem recognizing the danger of other breeds, such as these:
http://www.dogster.com/forums/Choosing_the_Right_Dog/thread/722615
Interesting mindset, these people.
Dawn, you attack me for being vegan and for saving animals? WOW, that says a lot about you.
You and your few followers clearly judge based on stereotypes and not on ones individual behavior.
You are a clearly a coward. You post nonsense about myself, Penny and Lani but you don't even have the balls to contact us directly or post a contact email for yourself on your blog.
Fortunately for the animals there are many people like myself.
Sloane Quealy-Miner
www.bslnews.org
Meet Gladys, another pit bull hero who is a therap dog and works with elementary school children.
http://bslnews.org/2011/05/12/pit-bull-hero-gladys-helping-children-and-dispelling-myths/
As a parent I would be furious if my kid's school allowed a pit bull in the school. I've already taught them you never approach a strange dog w/out the owner's permission, after reading all these accounts in the news I now feel I need to teach them to never approach a pit bull, regardless of what the owner says.
Questions for you Matt.
The principal of Willow School was not aware that this pit bull was in her facility. This would seem to indicate that the program put on by the Blue Mountain Humane Society was not approved. Are the school officals where the heroic Gladys visits aware that she is in the building? Are they aware of the content of your teaching? Is the insurance carrier for the school system aware that you are bringing a pit bull into the school? How about the PTO?
I noticed that Gladys is retrieved by a student and then walked by them to the classroom. Seems a bit irresponsible, regardless of breed.
Miner and others stated that we should not judge every member of a breed based upon the actions of a few. That argument cuts both ways. We should not decide upon the average temperament of a breed based upon either a handful of attacks or publicized canine good citizens like Gladys. To get a handle on the average tendencies of a breed group, we should adopt a larger picture. When we do this we find that fighting breeds are more dangerous, on average, than other breeds. Knowing these average tendencies should be enough for most people to prefer not to share space with fighting breeds when given the choice. It seems that pit bull advocates would like to shame those who exercise this logical choice. Miner and others are forever trying to disprove a universal statement that no one is making by offering up counter examples. Their nice pit bulls do not change anything.
It's been said here already, but this point can't be repeated too many times...
Pit Advocate Assholes DO NOT CARE about the intended beneficiaries of any program, but care instead about their own use of the program as a vehicle for their own agenda. Whether it is a reading program, a therapy program or safety instruction, they would never have anything to do with it unless it suits their purposes. This case illustrates that truth, again.
In every case, anyone that offers to “participate” by showing up with a pit bull should be summarily punted. There are too many sincere, considerate and qualified people to ever justify the risk or endure the disinformation and dysfunction of pit advocates.
And as far as allowing children to be pit spammed by pitiots? It should NEVER happen! I would no more allow a child to be subjected to this than I would allow a child to attend “free summer camp” at a terrorist madrassa. The pretense of altruistic participation by pit bull owners in any program is always a false pretense, and these insincere, disingenuous scumbags should always be kicked to the curb.
Standing applause for this superintendant!
Good comment Dude. If it was about the kids, then they would make a less controversial choice in breed to bring. For them, they either get to bring their pit around someone and perhaps get some positive media attention, or something like this happens and they get to be victims and get attention that way in their various forums, etc. They likely are deluded enough to believe it is important for kids to learn not to judge pit bulls negatively because that will somehow help them in life. Sorry but the risks outweigh any benefit possible. Obviously, pit nutters are the most self-centered group of dog owners.
Mr. Miner; I have been a volunteer in my school district for over a decade and I find your link appalling. The entire purpose of the visit was to "educate" special needs children that pit bulls are great dogs? This dog is not even a registered therapy dog...she is a dog "in training". In addition, did the pit bull fanatic posting these pictures get a legal release from EVERY child's parent to put their pictures on-line? You have posted pictures of children and IDENTIFIED them as being SPED students. I believe this is a FERPA violation, and should be reported to the Warwick R.I. school superintendent. This is a very serious violation of student privacy. I am amazed at the narcissitic tone and immaturity of the dog owner posting this.
I also clicked on the other story about Gladys the pit bull "rescuing" a nest of baby rabbits. Gladys's owner is an infantile, immature, ignorant woman who knows NOTHING about animals. Her dog did not "rescue" the rabbits, she merely found them and expressed curiosity. The pit bull's owner effectively KILLED these baby rabbits by assuming they were orphaned and taking them from their nest! Everyone in wild life rehab knows that rabbits do not lay with their kits, and only nurse for about 5 minutes a day, usually at night. ITS COMMON KNOWLEDGE. This woman wanted to fabricate a fairy tale about her pit bull "rescuing" orphaned rabbits, so she took them for photo ops, effectively dooming them. A five second google search would have told her to LEAVE THEM ALONE!
That link proved how far these pit bull fanatics will go to promote their breed. Its disgusting. I hope the parents of these children are notified, and bring charges against their school district.
"You are a clearly a coward. You post nonsense about myself, Penny and Lani but you don't even have the balls to contact us directly or post a contact email for yourself on your blog. "
thank you matt/sloane for demonstrating the B12 deficiency for the readers of this blog.
despite the fact that you have a blogger account and at least at one time had a blogger blog before switching to wordpress, you don't understand that contact info can be found on blogger profile. and you don't have to be einstein to find it.
for example.
i would also like to thank you for further demonstrating your pathological narcissism by suggesting that i have some kind of obligation to contact any of the nutters featured in my blog.
FYI: i have been a vegetarian for probably more years than you have been walking the earth.
PS, LOVE the graphic!
Branwyne, thank you for educating these morons about wildlife and pointing out the legal issues around these special ed kids. i wonder if the vegan warriors are smart enough to understand?
Good catch on the baby rabbits branwyne.
@Dawn's comment nyuk, nyuk, nyuk
Both are great catches.
sooooo, once again, children are just the necessary props for another showing of the Pit Bull Service/Education dog Theater of the Absurd.
I'm betting no, Dawn. they won't figure it out
Matt/sloane,
Finding 4 bunnies in the yard qualifies Gladys as a HERO???? This is so foolish that I just have to laugh at the whole "pit bull hero" concept.
By identifying Gladys as an intern, you have indicated that she is not a therapy dog, despite the very official looking vest. Giving the photo of Gladys in the vest a few clicks enlarges the vest patch, it just says CGC. Any dog this side of active rabies should be able to pass the CGC. The test pretty much consists of 5 or so minutes of reasonable behavior, Pooping and biting are disqualifiers. If "heroic Gladys" is the best you have, you don't have much. But it HAS been a good laugh.
Some lovely (and lively) smack downs on "projectionist" pit nutter Sloane Quealy-Miner (look it up Miner, as it is presumed you have no inkling of its meaning). It seems Sloane Quealy-Miner also has little understanding of the First Amendment and what bloggers can and cannot do, not to mention initiating online bullying. Fortunately, there are online groups that provide learning materials for this. Pit nutter Sloane Quealy-Miner would do well to look some of them up or she might find her B-12 starved body SERVED in a lawsuit SOON.
Oh my! The Maul Talk Manual cannot be left out of this one. Introducing "couch eater" ...
http://maultalk.wordpress.com/2011/10/29/couch-eater/
Over 180 American kids killed by Pit Bulls and they are doing this?
Multanomah County Oregon has been sued twice for Pit Nutter instigated "misunderstandings".
Nutters in animal control are a major public safety risk. It is almost as if they are inviting BSL with their reckless conduct.
from snack
"sooooo, once again, children are just the necessary props for another showing of the Pit Bull Service/Education dog Theater of the Absurd."
Instant classic.
GREAT PIT BULL ADVOCACY BACKFIRES IN HISTORY:
JULY 2005: GARFIELD, CO: ANIMAL CONTROL OFFICER AIMEE CHAPPELLE LAUNCHES FIRST KNOWN BITE PREVENTION PROGRAM FOR SCHOOL CHILDREN USING PIT BULLS
http://www.postindependent.com/article/20050730/VALLEYNEWS/50729010
“Who do you think the good dog is, and who is the bad dog?” asked Aimee Chappelle, an animal control deputy for the Garfield County Sheriff’s Office, who led the dog bite and animal safety presentation
DECEMBER 2006: PROGRAM FAILS MISERABLY:
Sheriff Lou Vallario said the animal, which he believes was a pit bull, was destroyed following the attack.
Deputy Aimee Chappelle pleaded guilty Dec. 6 in county court in Rifle. She paid a fine, was given a one-year deferred sentence and was ordered to perform 16 hours of community service
http://www.postindependent.com/article/20061226/VALLEYNEWS/112260030
**DISCLAIMER...Seriously folks, it's impossible to make this stuff up!
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