when life gives you lemons, make lemonade, add a splash or two or three of vodka and start up a pit rescue

UPDATE!

word has it that the little man's $500K gripper has succumbed to target practice.

 














UPDATE!

Originally published on January 16, 2014

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RANDY JOE CORNWALL!

today RANDY JOE CORNWALL turns 47.

who is RANDY JOE CORNWALL?

i'm so glad you asked.

RANDY JOE CORNWALL is the next up and coming celebrity pit grifter in columbia, mississippi. yep, he is developing quite a sweet little gig down there. he's got his very special pack o' grippers (lil pimpin, sassy and preshus, there was a fourth - bay bay - but without explanation she mysteriously dropped out of the picture. hmmm), rotating fosters and lots of adoring female fans. more importantly, RANDY JOE CORNWALL has TIME. lots and lots of time. well, at least until August 12, 2015.

what's so special about August 12, 2015?

i'm so glad you asked!

August 12, 2015 is when RANDY JOE CORNWALL completes his 2 year house arrest sentence.

HOUSE ARREST?! why?

i'm so glad you asked.

Felony DUI. i haven't been able to nail down the specifics, like was this his first, second, or third DUI or if he injured or killed anyone but two years of house arrest for a first time offender seems uncharacteristically excessive, unless of course there was an injured party.

but, but craven, of all of the callous, dishonest, shameless, immoral, misfits, failures and miscreant nutters, why focus on RANDY JOE CORNWALL?

i'm so glad you asked!

let's just say it was a PERFECT STORM.

remember Tanya Barnes? she was visiting a friend when her face was gripped by one of the friend's ugly dogs. the dog was SASSY and the "friend" was RANDY JOE CORNWALL. you've heard the tragic story of Tanya, think you are ready for the story of RANDY JOE the professional pit bull advocate?

RANDY JOE CORNWALL and SASSY the man biter

once upon a time, there was a putrid 5'6" 125# little man squatting on a piece of dirt in southern mississippi. he seemed to have trouble with relationships and willfully chose his mutants and backyard pit bull breeding operation over his wives, girlfriends and friends. one day a kind hearted friend was severely disfigured when she took pity on him and paid him a visit. a week later, the prosecutors elected not to press charges against the putrid little man because he did not "deliberately sic the pit on her". and one week later again, the man biter's life was spared. the putrid little man was elated because he got back the things that really mattered to him, his alter ego.






RANDY created a facebook page less than one month after the savage mauling of Tanya. it was slow going at first, pretty much just RANDY talking to himself. things began to pick up a bit with close friends and family. on a good day, he posted 1-2 comments and on a really good day, someone noticed. his comments typically consisted of peddling his backyard bred man biters, boasting about his mutant's fighting prowess, complaining of boredom, lusting for alcohol, trolling for white slavery, pontificating on his theory about how the pizza man coming to the door is proof that pit bulls are safe, whining about how difficult it is to sleep because of the pain and other mindless misspelled babble.  
just for kicks i'd like to chart RANDY JOE CORNWALL'S painful sleepless nights and compare them to Tanya's.

 

then something magical happened in august 2013 and RANDY JOE CORNWALL started to become popular.

he quickly became bored stuck at home with nothing to do but play with his man biters, feed his snakes, take reptilian selfies, and surf the internet. snakes only eat every few days and what is the fun of having pit bulls if you can not go out and terrorize the public. in need of beer money, bored and tired of looking at himself, because he admits that even he doesn't like himself, he decided he needed a hobby for the next two years. RANDY JOE CORNWALL discovered pit bull rescue.

it was fascinating reading his facebook page from its origin to today. having a ringside seat to the transmogrification of RANDY JOE was an experience that i'd do again in a heart beat, even though it was time consuming. his lingo shifted from pit bulls to pibbles and from backyard breeding to rescuing and adopting. by january 1st, the day i first visited his page, he was getting hammered with up to two dozen hits per day on his personal facebook page and countless hits on the pit bull propaganda pages he created.

can ya here me now?

RANDY JOE was no longer alone. the internet is seductive and always a willing 24/7 listener. there were countless damaged overemotional women at the ready to stroke his fragile ego and melt from his "kind sexy eyes".

when RANDY JOE is feeling down in the dumps and bad about himself, which i suspect is a reoccurring theme in his life, he changes his profile photo and makes self deprecating remarks to elicit pity and flattery. and predictably, his harem of hybristophiliacs come to the rescue, swooning over the reptilian stare.

laying the groundwork for the long con.











and testing the waters by dropping hints.

the walk of shame through the gallery of callousness.

this is not a dramatization. these are ACTUAL pit bull propaganda posters from RANDY JOE CORNWALL'S personal facebook page and every single one of them were posted almost 3 years AFTER his ugly mutant savaged Tanya Barne's face:

 
 















 


















contrast RANDY JOE'S psychopathic fantasy world about his precious pit bulls and pibbles with HIS reality:




















the argument "it's all how they are raised" doesn't fly in this instance. RANDY JOE CORNWALL loves his pit bulls in word and deed.

and it's true. you can see the love in the photos, not just his words. his pit bulls are loved and well cared for. they live inside the house as FAMILY members, they get plenty of exercise and plenty of food (maybe a little too much food) and STILL, one of them latched onto the face of a woman who did nothing more than sit on the sofa.

seriously RANDY, since you "have it all", including your face, how about you sign over that nice truck to your victim?

in RANDY JOE'S new role as pibble philanthropist, he would occasionally encounter criticism for ear cropping and tail docking from his new tribe. at one point, he had a temper tantrum which i captured below. funny but i don't think i saw one single rescue angel make a peep about not taking a knife to those testicles.

cuz ya know, RANDY JOE is all about spay & neuter. bwa-hahahaha. he sure has these over emotional women bamboozled and eating right out of his hand or should i say from those kind sexy reptilian eyes.

"everyone" is a bit of an exaggeration there little man. Tanya sure ain't smiling.

RANDY JOE projects an image of professionalism on linkedin but i dare ya to scratch the surface...

i believe you!

careful ladies, the last time a puppy squealed, there was hell to pay. eighteen months after SASSY rearranged Tanya's face and here is RANDY JOE minimizing the danger. i wonder if these two have a clue as to what happened to Tanya when she sat on that sofa? i wonder if they care? RANDY JOE CORNWALL doesn't seem to.

RANDY JOE CORNWALL i call this "vicious".

the RANDY JOE fan club has nary a clue about the dangers his mutants pose and i suspect they are clueless about his current home incarceration or his goal to turn pit bull advocacy into his personal income generator.

this is a screenshot from a video uploaded to RANDY JOE'S facebook page of a female throwing the ball for his unfenced pit bulls, one of which mauled Tanya Barnes. note RANDY JOE'S comment about his dogs will only "LICK LICK LICK" you. this comment was made 3 years and 4 months after the savage mauling of Tanya.

the $500,000 thirty second mauling of Tanya Barnes

No Dirt Nap for Ugly

No Criminal Charges for the Putrid Little Man

Randy Cornwall

Randy's Chip-in

Pit Bulls & Pibbles

I'm a Pit Bull Lover So Kiss My Ass

funny thing about this scathing blog post, his harem of damaged rescue angels will likely rally around poor misunderstood RANDY JOE and my "defamatory" manifesto will likely serve to only cement the sick bond between them further. did i just do RANDY a favor? lol!

profile of a responsible pit bull owner

UPDATE
CARLA ANN THOMAS is not currently in the slammer. she is operating under the name CARLA PARRAVANI. i wonder if the AKC is aware of this alias? 

CARLA has been active on both her personal facebook page and the page she set up for BOOM, the mutant dressed in chicks and bunnies below, the same mutant who attacks other dogs at events, without provocation or warning. CARLA has been trying to help a teacher out with a school project. the teacher is attempting to show her junior high students just how fast a photo can be shared on the internet. ISYN! for the time lapse photography equivalent of the project, CARLA should have had the teacher hold up this photo of a tricked out BOOM.

CARLA'S friend list is an impressive who's who of dog fighting and pit bull advocacy. it reinforces the old adage Birds of Feather; emily patrick, ed faron, murph mcadams, allie renar, dahlia canes and more than a few names that i recognized as crazed fur mommies but the one name that really stood out - LEDY VANKAVAGE. LEDY once again living up to her reputation on google as being associated with HARMING dogs, not helping them.

UPDATE
someone just notified me that they did not realize the pit bulldog (BOOM) mentioned in this dear craven letter was the same pit bulldog (BOOM) featured in the huffpo. my mistake for not updating the blog post and just allowing that critical piece of information to sit in the comments.

this is CARLA ANN THOMAS' pit bulldog BOOM.

UPDATE!
i received an email from someone who has experience with CARLA ANN THOMAS and her dogs.

Dear Craven,

It's a small world. I knew Carla Ann Thomas. These charges of animal cruelty are shocking as she does present herself as utterly dedicated to her dogs but looks apparently are deceiving.

In 2011, I attended the same K9 club as Carla Ann Thomas.  One day, during flyball practice her pit bull dog, Boom, just completed a flyball run and then attacked another dog. It was instantaneous and unprovoked.  Everyone saw everything.  Boom's victim had finished the run before Boom.  At the end of Boom's run, he spotted another dog.  The other dog was looking down sniffing something on the floor, minding its own business.

Boom had grabbed the other dog's paw and basically crushed it.  The poor dog yelped but Carla was fast.  The fascinating thing about it was the she grabbed her dog by the loose skin on the nape of the neck and at the same time, she grabbed him by the loose skin of the rear of the dog.  Being that the dog was not more than 35 lbs at that time, tough, rough, and buff Carla was able to easily perform this maneuver and quickly whisked Boom away.  There was not too much damage done to the little dog, as Carla swooped in to grab Boom and lifted him off his feet and he released.  Maybe she practiced that maneuver with him a few times?  I don't know but it was a very quick, stern, and methodical maneuver.  She whisked her pit bull dog out of the training area and disappeared.

The victim, just a normal dog, tan with white patches, was simply standing around and didn't see the threat coming.  At least a dozen people witnessed the attack, so Carla couldn't legitimately claim her pit bull was provoked, although she may have. I don't know.  I never went back to that K9 club.  I am a petite older woman and I didn't feel safe around dogs that are capable of such quick and explosive aggression.

CORRECTION: the second animal cruelty arrest appears to be her THIRD. this is her SECOND.

BRIGIT, you chose a real loser to defend. 

JUST IN!
according to the AKC, effective april 13, 2013 CARLA ANN THOMAS has been suspended for 15 years and fined $3000. (i'll need to consult with one of the AKC drones that i am cahoots with in order to understand what this means)

UPDATE
a second animal cruelty charge has been brought against Ms Nutter on 11.01.12 in pinellas county.

the updates are coming fast and furious.  

 
CARLA ANN THOMAS aka Ultimate K9 loves loves loves her dogs. you might even say that she lives for her dogs. and her dogs die for her. 

CARLA had a fly ball competition to go to, so on a friday afternoon, she left her akita in her pet food store, with a bowl of water, food, set the thermostat on 80 (yes eighty degrees, that is not a typo), pointed the fan at the dog and left him there for the weekend so she could play with her pit bulls. note, this occurred in st petersburg florida, the internet shows that the temp highs exceeded 80 that weekend. she returned to a dead dog and was charged with animal neglect and found guilty.

i love love love this video. THOMAS blames her landlord for turning off the AC, she said he has done it before. the landlord denied her accusation. but i am wondering, why would she leave her dog alone in her pet food store if her landlord has a history of cutting the power? and why on earth would she set the AC to 80º? her vet defends her stating "she loves her dogs, she loves them better than people." yeah, i'll bet she does, they always do! and i think it is cute how THOMAS talks to the media holding her mini pin rather than one of her many mutants. i don't think that was an accident. she was likely to get more sympathy with the public, you know, cuz it is so easy to hate pit bull owners. you can see a photo of all of her dogs here. wow, she must be another dog whisperer. akita, dogo, GSD, staffy bull, intact male pit bulls, mini pin and what is that... a pomeranian or a long haired chihuahua? yes, she must be the dog whisperer.

if you are set up to stream netflix movies, you can see CARLA ANN THOMAS at 43:00 putting her pit bull, JAEGER through the ATTS motions in the propaganda training film BEYOND THE MYTH. really LIBBEY, you couldn't find a NON criminal for this spot?

and here they are after the ATTS, celebrating another pittie triumph over golden retrievers.





















 
what is with these PB freaks that they are always picking up these dogs? i just don't get it.


let's take a closer look at JAEGER, another impressively titled gripping dog.

Jaeger is ADBA and UKC registered.
He is an incredible athlete with extremely high drive. He loves to run, swim, jump, and retrieve. He opens and closes doors and refrigerators, and he will retrieve just about anything for you. He loves to bring you the remote and phone or pick up dropped keys, change, papers, etc.
He is 21 inches tall and weighs 58lbs.
in addition to a HERDING INSTINCT TITLE, he has been "safe dog" certified by the ADBA (another sham of a test) and received his CGC and ATTS. JAEGER also has flyball, weight pull, conformation, rally and agility titles and plays around with lure coursing and schutzhund, although no titles apparently, maybe he wouldn't release quick enough?. since he can open and close doors, he is a CERTIFIED SERVICE DOG. obviously. and what good is a pit bull if you can't take him AND his testicles to the hospital so he can snuggle with cancer patients? yep, he is a CERTIFIED THERAPY DOG!

JAEGER at a flyball tournament :-)

THOMAS claims JAEGER passed his TD test at the age of 8 months, yet according to Therapy Dogs International, dogs must be at least one year of age and the "handler must be of good character." woops.

well, i was wrong. CARLA was not lying about JAEGER being in a reading program. she does take this thing and his testicles to read WITH kids! remember, this is a dog that CARLA freely admits she is not always in control of his drive.

CARLA ANN THOMAS throws a vest on this thing and takes him into the public so he can kiss children. a dog that she admits, she can NOT "turn his drive down or off". she is grossly misrepresenting her gripping dog to the public. and getting away with it.

BEHOLD, a REAL woman.
a real woman with an ego the size of the state of floriduh.

isn't that, dare i say it... prejudicial?



with the help of CARLA ANN THOMAS, the pit bulls were herding farm dogs myth has been debunked HERE. at the link, you will see a genuine purebred american pit bull terrier "earn" his herding instinct certificate. you won't want to miss the excitement!

Feel free to share any of my pictures or videos. I wouldn't post them if I didn't want people to see them. You can check out videos of my other dogs on youtube also.

why thank you CARLA, i will take you up on that!


please visit CARLA the rescuer, breeding operation: SUPER PIT BULLS and meet JAEGER (stud for hire), HENNESSY (stud for hire), BOOM, SNIPER, STEALTH, ENVY and PATRON


The Myth of the Herding Pit Bull Farm Dog

CARLA ANN THOMAS

tampabay.com

wtsp.com

JAEGER'S pedigree