Friday, August 2, 2013

a new board game

compliments of Ban Pit Bulls Across America





















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15 comments:

DubV said...

I'm thinking this game should have risk squares where you lose certain things, like fingers. But if you know the pit bull then your risk is less steady. If you are the owner, it is more like a card is dealt out of nowhere that gives catastrophic mauling.

Really, we have an advantage over nutters in one sense, in terms of safety. We see a pit bull and we know "this shit might be on". Those dingbats though have safety cards only to be unpredictably mauled.

So, depending on the final form of the game, I think the pit nutters have a disadvantage to us, but the biggest disadvantage is to those that don't even know the game is being played.

What's interesting is that risk taking and even social exchange can be modeled with a game of this set. Us and nutters would never agree upon the number of sides of the die that would result in a poodle being murdered. They would want to have to rule snake eyes 20 times for that supposedly low probability even to occur.

We'd never agree on the game. It would be interesting though if they took the concept of the game and the applied to their pathology. My bet is that we could still figure out their bullshit and beat them every time within the confines of their little abstraction.

Packhorse said...

“Bloodlines”

Everybody pit up
Everybody pit up
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey

If you can't hear what I'm trying to say
If you can't read my Facebook page
Maybe I'm losing breath
Maybe I'm close to death
Maybe I'm out of my mind
Everybody pit up!

OK this Cesar guy, tried to domesticate you
But you're a fighting dog, baby, it's in your nature
Just let me liberate you
Hey, hey, hey
You don't need ped papers
Hey, hey, hey
‘Cause God is not your maker

And that's why books say “I’m a good dog”
I know you want it
I know you want it
I know you want it
You're a “good dog”
Can't let it get past me
Your leash is plastic
Talk about getting blasted!

Look at these bloodlines!
I know you want it
I know you want it
I know you want it
But you're a “good dog”
The way you grab me
Must wanna get nasty
Go ahead, get at me
Everybody pit up

What do they make chains for?
When pit dogs say “game on”
What do we need crates for?
You the gamest bitch in this place!
I feel so lucky
Hey, hey, hey
You wanna thrill me
Hey, hey, hey
What rhymes with thrill me?
Hey, hey, hey

Anonymous said...

OMG LOL, awesome variation of Blurred Lines. The last part especially was hilarious :D

dawn james said...

i had to google "blurred lines", good job packhorse.

SadFalada said...

Bitchen tune, Packhorse!
It's a little hard to dance to, but it
sure makes me wanna run, run, run!

I give it a 98!
(And I shouldn't of worn my Poodle skirt!)

I know you all are too young to remember American Bandstand

SadFalada said...

But, seriously, excellent work, it creates a lot of almost suffocating tension, and the cadences are driving and point-on...are you a musician, any chance?

dawn james said...

everytime sadfalada leaves a comment on an old blog post, i just want to republish the blog so it's sits at the top and draw attention to it.


here's another poem

Packhorse said...

SadFalada:

No, not a musician at all--just a person who spends a lot of time listening to the radio on the way to work. I've found that I can change a few words here and there and make the song about a totally different subject. The song above is a currently popular tune called "Blurred Lines," (don't know the artist, sorry.)

Thank you for your awesome poetry! It truly adds some art and finesse to a grim subject.

Packhorse said...

Wanna see something creepy?

http://m.youtube.com/index?&desktop_uri=%2F#/watch?v=XUKFLuhwe1w

Rumpelstiltskin said...

Pit nutters love playing the Pitbullopoly game. Unfortunately, it's mostly people who don't want to play who are forced to play this game of blood and chance. Some innocent dog or neighbor is forced to play this bloody game.

Packhorse said...


We can't go back, this is the moment
Tonight is the night, we’ll fight 'til it’s over
So we put hackles up, like our leashes can’t hold us
Like our leashes can’t hold us

-"Can't Hold Us" chrous

Meals on Wheels said...

So I wonder what the game pieces would be

In the board game called Pittopoly:

A Cocker Spaniel, since they are in fact meaner,
A Chihuahua and a mouth foaming Weiner,
A baby, a mail man, and a silvered break stick,
And a severed finger cut off at the quick.
Petey the pit bull, and of course, Buster Brown,
and Cesar Milan, and Shorty, the clown.
Good luck to you all, with the roll of the dice.
Please remember, pit bulls don't always play nice.

dawn james said...

my vote is for marabito's muzzled pie hole

SadFalada said...

Stepladder To Heaven

Pit people, they know bout
the dangers of ladders
Cause they seen them,
they sees what they can do
and those that step where it says
THIS IS NOT A STEP
are ignoring a real big safety clue
and down they may go, six feet, eight feet, twenty-five feet or eighty two
And each rung, though they look nice and smoothed
when improperly used, act like they are toothed
A little known fact, but science offers us proofs
That ladders kill the unwary
the fools, and the goofs.

dawn james said...

lol. i doubt cindy marabito could grasp your poem on a very good day.