when life gives you lemons, make lemonade, add a splash or two or three of vodka and start up a pit rescue

UPDATE!

word has it that the little man's $500K gripper has succumbed to target practice.

 














UPDATE!

Originally published on January 16, 2014

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RANDY JOE CORNWALL!

today RANDY JOE CORNWALL turns 47.

who is RANDY JOE CORNWALL?

i'm so glad you asked.

RANDY JOE CORNWALL is the next up and coming celebrity pit grifter in columbia, mississippi. yep, he is developing quite a sweet little gig down there. he's got his very special pack o' grippers (lil pimpin, sassy and preshus, there was a fourth - bay bay - but without explanation she mysteriously dropped out of the picture. hmmm), rotating fosters and lots of adoring female fans. more importantly, RANDY JOE CORNWALL has TIME. lots and lots of time. well, at least until August 12, 2015.

what's so special about August 12, 2015?

i'm so glad you asked!

August 12, 2015 is when RANDY JOE CORNWALL completes his 2 year house arrest sentence.

HOUSE ARREST?! why?

i'm so glad you asked.

Felony DUI. i haven't been able to nail down the specifics, like was this his first, second, or third DUI or if he injured or killed anyone but two years of house arrest for a first time offender seems uncharacteristically excessive, unless of course there was an injured party.

but, but craven, of all of the callous, dishonest, shameless, immoral, misfits, failures and miscreant nutters, why focus on RANDY JOE CORNWALL?

i'm so glad you asked!

let's just say it was a PERFECT STORM.

remember Tanya Barnes? she was visiting a friend when her face was gripped by one of the friend's ugly dogs. the dog was SASSY and the "friend" was RANDY JOE CORNWALL. you've heard the tragic story of Tanya, think you are ready for the story of RANDY JOE the professional pit bull advocate?

RANDY JOE CORNWALL and SASSY the man biter

once upon a time, there was a putrid 5'6" 125# little man squatting on a piece of dirt in southern mississippi. he seemed to have trouble with relationships and willfully chose his mutants and backyard pit bull breeding operation over his wives, girlfriends and friends. one day a kind hearted friend was severely disfigured when she took pity on him and paid him a visit. a week later, the prosecutors elected not to press charges against the putrid little man because he did not "deliberately sic the pit on her". and one week later again, the man biter's life was spared. the putrid little man was elated because he got back the things that really mattered to him, his alter ego.






RANDY created a facebook page less than one month after the savage mauling of Tanya. it was slow going at first, pretty much just RANDY talking to himself. things began to pick up a bit with close friends and family. on a good day, he posted 1-2 comments and on a really good day, someone noticed. his comments typically consisted of peddling his backyard bred man biters, boasting about his mutant's fighting prowess, complaining of boredom, lusting for alcohol, trolling for white slavery, pontificating on his theory about how the pizza man coming to the door is proof that pit bulls are safe, whining about how difficult it is to sleep because of the pain and other mindless misspelled babble.  
just for kicks i'd like to chart RANDY JOE CORNWALL'S painful sleepless nights and compare them to Tanya's.

 

then something magical happened in august 2013 and RANDY JOE CORNWALL started to become popular.

he quickly became bored stuck at home with nothing to do but play with his man biters, feed his snakes, take reptilian selfies, and surf the internet. snakes only eat every few days and what is the fun of having pit bulls if you can not go out and terrorize the public. in need of beer money, bored and tired of looking at himself, because he admits that even he doesn't like himself, he decided he needed a hobby for the next two years. RANDY JOE CORNWALL discovered pit bull rescue.

it was fascinating reading his facebook page from its origin to today. having a ringside seat to the transmogrification of RANDY JOE was an experience that i'd do again in a heart beat, even though it was time consuming. his lingo shifted from pit bulls to pibbles and from backyard breeding to rescuing and adopting. by january 1st, the day i first visited his page, he was getting hammered with up to two dozen hits per day on his personal facebook page and countless hits on the pit bull propaganda pages he created.

can ya here me now?

RANDY JOE was no longer alone. the internet is seductive and always a willing 24/7 listener. there were countless damaged overemotional women at the ready to stroke his fragile ego and melt from his "kind sexy eyes".

when RANDY JOE is feeling down in the dumps and bad about himself, which i suspect is a reoccurring theme in his life, he changes his profile photo and makes self deprecating remarks to elicit pity and flattery. and predictably, his harem of hybristophiliacs come to the rescue, swooning over the reptilian stare.

laying the groundwork for the long con.











and testing the waters by dropping hints.

the walk of shame through the gallery of callousness.

this is not a dramatization. these are ACTUAL pit bull propaganda posters from RANDY JOE CORNWALL'S personal facebook page and every single one of them were posted almost 3 years AFTER his ugly mutant savaged Tanya Barne's face:

 
 















 


















contrast RANDY JOE'S psychopathic fantasy world about his precious pit bulls and pibbles with HIS reality:




















the argument "it's all how they are raised" doesn't fly in this instance. RANDY JOE CORNWALL loves his pit bulls in word and deed.

and it's true. you can see the love in the photos, not just his words. his pit bulls are loved and well cared for. they live inside the house as FAMILY members, they get plenty of exercise and plenty of food (maybe a little too much food) and STILL, one of them latched onto the face of a woman who did nothing more than sit on the sofa.

seriously RANDY, since you "have it all", including your face, how about you sign over that nice truck to your victim?

in RANDY JOE'S new role as pibble philanthropist, he would occasionally encounter criticism for ear cropping and tail docking from his new tribe. at one point, he had a temper tantrum which i captured below. funny but i don't think i saw one single rescue angel make a peep about not taking a knife to those testicles.

cuz ya know, RANDY JOE is all about spay & neuter. bwa-hahahaha. he sure has these over emotional women bamboozled and eating right out of his hand or should i say from those kind sexy reptilian eyes.

"everyone" is a bit of an exaggeration there little man. Tanya sure ain't smiling.

RANDY JOE projects an image of professionalism on linkedin but i dare ya to scratch the surface...

i believe you!

careful ladies, the last time a puppy squealed, there was hell to pay. eighteen months after SASSY rearranged Tanya's face and here is RANDY JOE minimizing the danger. i wonder if these two have a clue as to what happened to Tanya when she sat on that sofa? i wonder if they care? RANDY JOE CORNWALL doesn't seem to.

RANDY JOE CORNWALL i call this "vicious".

the RANDY JOE fan club has nary a clue about the dangers his mutants pose and i suspect they are clueless about his current home incarceration or his goal to turn pit bull advocacy into his personal income generator.

this is a screenshot from a video uploaded to RANDY JOE'S facebook page of a female throwing the ball for his unfenced pit bulls, one of which mauled Tanya Barnes. note RANDY JOE'S comment about his dogs will only "LICK LICK LICK" you. this comment was made 3 years and 4 months after the savage mauling of Tanya.

the $500,000 thirty second mauling of Tanya Barnes

No Dirt Nap for Ugly

No Criminal Charges for the Putrid Little Man

Randy Cornwall

Randy's Chip-in

Pit Bulls & Pibbles

I'm a Pit Bull Lover So Kiss My Ass

funny thing about this scathing blog post, his harem of damaged rescue angels will likely rally around poor misunderstood RANDY JOE and my "defamatory" manifesto will likely serve to only cement the sick bond between them further. did i just do RANDY a favor? lol!

pit nutter roundup: the final edition

i can't remember the last time i updated an ancient blog post. the new comment just submitted was fucking irresistible and i could not allow it to languish in the comments of a 2 year old story.
thank you anonymous reader.

i know that feeling!


garland county, arkansas the mutant sleeper cell awakened. four attacks in three days. time to talk ban.



godfrey, illinois looks like PRECIOUS finally succeeded in getting her well deserved dirt nap, let the lawsuit begin. the full story is HERE.




"Reason I grew this beard is to protect me from porkypine quills. Mans gotta eat!"

cloverport, kentucky chain buster RAMBO drew first blood when he launched an unprovoked attack on a 57 yr old deaf mute women minding her own business and walking down the street. lucky for her, neighbors saw the "scuffle" and came to her aid seeing how she is unable to cry for help. FUCK! the good Samaritans (who appear utterly traumatized in the news video) reported RAMBO as ripping chunks of flesh and swallowing it.
the confederate flag waving redneck put on a convincing performance for the tv news crew. he looked remorseful or it could just be that he had a good buzz on. (yes, i openly and proudly discriminate against fucktards who pimp this flag. they may as well wear a swastika.)

HEY JANE! DO YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN POSSIBLY MAKE IT ANY FUCKING EASIER FOR IDIOTS TO ADOPT YOUR PRECIOUS GRIPPER?





“They’re people dogs. They’re friendly. They’re going to go in your house. They’re not there to eat anybody.” JASON COLVIN aka JAY COLVIN aka SOLDIER JAY
this dude needs a reality check!

deer park, texas JAY COLVIN is in the running for most irresponsible pit nutter. not one but TWO home invasions in less than a month!
three weeks earlier, the same mutants broke into the same house and mauled an elderly dachshund.


BE SURE TO CHECK OUT THE VIDEO. THESE MUTANTS ARE OUT OF CONTROL.

"You're my new pimp? Where's the balloons, the candy, the million dollar check? And F!! It's 1:30 in the EFFING DAYTIME!!!"

"This is how you wave in Pageants and Parades. Professional secret!"

"My bottom teeth I got for a bargain at the school of equine dentistry. Don't stare... I'm modest."

"Oh dear God! Did I leave the meth crock burning?!"

I'm thinking of a platinum-blond basket-weave 10 inch high updo like Nurse Chapel in the first and finest Star Trek, but fear it will detract from my futurewear blue sack garment. (Impervious to phaser fire!")

Shit! Does anyone know how to get baccy juice out of a ponytail?

"Hell yeah! Uncle Festus is my uncle! Also my brother! I'll say it proud!"

"And now I shall offer my rendition of 'It's A Small World After All"

"I'm just waitin' for my man! Mr Kenji X will make you all so sorry!! AND PUNK ASS JEALOUS!!!!!"

What shall I and the ladies discuss at today's book club? I have been a bit lax in completing 'A Brief History Of Time'

KIMBERLY VASQUEZ - i could not decide which screen shot to use. what the hell, use 'em all!

longview, washington MEET THE VASQUEZ CLAN! neighbors are fed up with this vermin and who can blame them!? they are sick and tired of being terrorized by their frankenmauler. the most recent attack involved a 5 yr old on a bike. the mutant's rabies certificate was forged and of course, she was not licensed. and prego pittie is now on the lam. (gots to save dem puppees cuz every man biting sperm is sacred) authorities are searching for the gripper in the hope of sparing the 5 yr old from enduring the excruciating series of rabies shots while NIK VASQUEZ boasts to the news crew about hiding the pregnant gripper. the atavistic matriarch's long criminal record consists of forgery and theft. mom is a tweeker thief and junior is obviously a psychopath and the entire family is soon to be homeless. the landlord said they violated the rental agreement by having a pit bull. the case is now on the desk of the county prosecutor.

how i wish we could sterilize the entire family. two generations of psychopaths & imbeciles (that we know of) is enough.

this punk ought to be sitting in jail until the dog is presented to the authorities. but my fingers are crossed that she will maul one of the friends who is aiding and abetting this criminal riffraff.

Hare's Psychopathy Checklist - Revised (PCL-R)


(i hope to upload a photo on this one soon)
everett, washington chomping spree a pit bull and a boxer got loose and went on a "chomping spree" biting 5 people, including a police officer and killing a cat before it was all over. the boxer is under quarantine and the mutant was killed with the taser (LOL). why is it when these pack attacks are interracial, it is always the gripper that is killed and the non gripper taken into custody? another reasonable question, since everett classifies ALL pit bulls as POTENTIALLY dangerous, why wasn't this pit's threat level increased to DANGEROUS after it bit a kid and then menaced a woman and her baby?
according to everett municipal code 6.08.010 Definitions of dangerous dogs:
3. Any dog known by the owner to be a pit bull terrier, which shall be defined in this chapter as any American Pit Bull Terrier or Staffordshire Bull Terrier or American Staffordshire Terrier breed of dog or any mixed breed of dog which contains as an element of its breeding the breed of American Pit Bull Terrier, Staffordshire Bull Terrier or American Staffordshire Terrier as to be identifiable as partially of the breed of American Pit Bull Terrier, Staffordshire Bull Terrier or American Staffordshire Terrier.



JUNE MAXAM (follow the links on this one. she is a pip!)

new york netherworld cyber gazette is covering fallout from the Solesky v Nutter ruling.
JUNE MAXAM a former ACO, convicted felon, pit nutter (a nutter in EVERY sense of the word), turned "journalist" has her panties in a twist over the reports on the wave of discarded grippers in the aftermath of the landmark ruling. thank goodness the HSUS has stepped up to the plate (with jane's money no doubt) to ensure that every gripper is given the opportunity to achieve self-actualization. why it is down right CRUEL to deny pittie alpaca faces. just look at how happy self-actualized pitties are.




remember last's month's brutal police shooting of poor pittie?

new york city the mutant known as STAR survived that shooting. her vet bill is nearly $10K and has been covered by donations, paid in large part by BERKEY'S flunkies no doubt. STAR lost an eye and her hearing but she will live to attack again. according to other pit owning street scum, STAR has bitten before. she is apparently very protective of her derelict master, LECH STANKIEWICZ who is awol. STAR'S nutter apparently had a warrant and was arrested. all the pit nutters seem unable to read those words in the sea of OMGPOORPITTIES!!!!! and COPS ARE MEANIES!!! but no need to worry about STAR, she has her very own............... FACEBOOK PAGE!!!!!!! and the little man biter has almost 3000 facebook friends and has caught the attention of the LEXUS PROJECT. you can see lots of before and after photos.



“He tried to get to him. I shut the crate, but couldn't lock it. So, he had chomped on my … one bite on my arm. That was it. I bit him on the nose to release."

jeannette, pennsylvania DONNA GREINER is out of the hospital. it appears there was exaggeration over the damage done to her arm and her desire to put distance between herself and her dogs. DONNA has 6 dogs now and plans to add more in the future. her neighbors are just thrilled. i am a firm believer in one strike, you're out. i think these nutters are entitled to one 911 response. after that, they are on their own.



greenback, tennessee there's a new kid on the no kill rescue block, the 725 Henry Lane block to be exact. ANGELA BURRUSS is in the process of filing the necessary paperwork to start up her very own 501C3 and realizing her dream to become a NO KILL pit rescue and eventually a certified dog trainer so she can add to the already bloated population of fake service pits. bitten by the pittie bug 12 years ago and suffering from a degenerative disease the pit lady is ready to turn her passion and hobby into a legal charity. keep an eye out for DOUBLE A PIT RESCUE. i think we'll be hearing about this one.

“I never turn down blankets and towels — or metal food bowls because pits chew everything,” she laughed. yeah, EVERYTHING and that includes chain link, trees, window screens, garage doors, drywall, plumbing, mail carriers, cops, grandfathers, toddlers, alpacas, horses, dogs and of course their owners - my personal fave.

NOTE: to prevent disorientation, before you launch into this lovely hybristophiliac's photo album, repeat after me : this is NOT the people of walmart, this is NOT the people of walmart, this is NOT the people of walmart, this is NOT the people of walmart.



JOHNNY HENDERSON and MONSTER

battle creek, michigan this 27 yr old pit bull owner was arrested after he sicced his mutant on Zachary Baldwin. Baldwin's crime was serving HENDERSON with an eviction notice.

be sure to keep up with the great unwashed at four legged friends and enemies and dogsbite decatur. i don't think i can do this anymore. the human race is really bringing me down. i am afraid the only solution is starting to look like a serious culling of both human and canine mutants.



sundre, alberta 57 yr old RITA PHILLIP sicced her two mutants on 26 yr old Deanna Wolfe. Wolfe suffered life threatening injuries. PHILLIP fled following the attack. she was picked up at a casino, then she missed her first court appearance. on the 29th, the judge denied her bail.


dogs deserve better

Tamira Thayne, dogs deserve better

search warrants were hand delivered to michael vick's estate again. this time the charges are not organized dog fighting, although there are reports of impromptu dog fighting aka yard accidents. but that is to be expected with pit bulls.

there are allegations of animal cruelty of rescued dogs. current and past employees and volunteers claim that mace and tasers were used on the dogs. they also claim the dogs were kept 19+ hours in their crates. employees state that dog fights broke out and the dogs did not receive veterinary care. that's the problem with keeping dogs that were BRED TO KILL EACH OTHER. there really is NO safe way to house or control them.

one dog, a pit bull named JADA was seized along with her vet records.

Thayne goes to court september 25th.

i wonder what DDB's celebrity endorsers would think about fighting, mace, tasers, excessive crating and no vet care?

wtkr.com