this is the story of SPIKE, an ASPCA "staff favorite". (staff favorite is code for no one wants him because he scares the hell out of potential adopters who do not suffer from hybristophilia or apotemnophilia.)
At the ASPCA, Spike is a staff favorite. Everyone’s had a chance to fall in love with him because he’s been with us for nearly two years—longer than any other dog currently in our care. Spike came to us through our Humane Law Enforcement department in 2011. Back then, Spike was emaciated and undersocialized, afraid of most new people and things.
"came to us through humane law enforcement" is code for unknown history. "emaciated and undersocialized" is a red flag for a pity scam. beware of attempts to manipulate your emotions.
Naturally, as soon as he was medically ready, our behavior counselors set to work socializing this special guy. They took him to new places, like the park and on busy streets. They introduced him to many volunteers so he could learn how great people can be. Before long, Spike blossomed into a dog who couldn’t wait to shower his favorite staffers with kisses.
"favorite staffers" is code for people selective.
Behavior counselors also taught Spike basic manners, and he eagerly showed us how smart he is, learning Sit and Drop It very quickly. Due to chronic lung disease, Spike needed an inhaler for a time, and he shocked behavior counselors with how fast he learned to use it. (Today, Spike no longer requires an inhaler.) Late last year, Spike became eligible for adoption. He’s been waiting for his family ever since.
if SPIKE learned sit and drop it so quickly, why haven't they taught him more?
So what gives? Why hasn’t Spike found a home? (We ask ourselves these questions all the time.) He’s shy with new people, and sometimes when Spike sees adopters through the glass of his habitat, he barks his unique, hoarse-sounding bark at them. Understandably, that can make some people feel unwelcome and move along to other dogs.
SPIKE is "shy" so he barks at "new" people and they feel unwelcome. hmmm... maybe the people looking to adopt know more about dogs than the idiots at the ASPCA? shy dogs don't bark, they cower and don't make eye contact.
It’s a shame those folks miss out on Spike, though. He’d so like to get to know them better—just slowly. That’s why we’re asking you to share Spike with all your social networks. Together we have the power to write Spike’s happy ending. What are you waiting for?
"folks" is code for gullible morons. it's a shame that a gullible moron hasn't walked into the ASPCA and snatched up this accident waiting to happen.
Spike would love a teens-and-up home. He loves to play with other dogs, but can play a bit rough, so a resident dog would need to be up for that.
"plays rough with other dogs" is code for dog aggressive. after almost TWO years at the ASPCA, they taught him to sit, drop it and a magic trick we'll show you later, he is now ready for his furever home. time to pull out all of the stops and aggressively pimp SPIKE.
SPIKE is a 2 yr old brindle APBT (one of those dogs that doesn't exist and no one can identify.)
Big fan of: You! Spike is super affectionate and social. He loves to play with people and with other dogs (though he may play a bit too rough for the dog park), and he enjoys getting lots of running exercise.so, to recap and to translate into a language that everyone can comprehend, SPIKE is uncontrollably affectionate towards YOU, as long as YOU are not "unusual" and don't possess any "unusual" objects. SPIKE loves to play rough with other dogs, all good pit bulls do, so stay away from the dog park. SPIKE loves to be taught, he is just not fond of learning. SPIKE is the perfect project for just the right rescue angel who possesses that never say die american spirit. be prepared to spend the next 2 years teaching him the "down" command. SPIKE is typical of the APBT, in that he needs to run 5 miles a day. oh, you're a lazy fat ass? no problem! just take him to the park, plant your ass on the bench with your laptop. you can be a pit bull warrior while you throw the ball.
Not a fan of: Unusual people and objects. Spike gets a little scared and barks at them to try to keep them away.
Special features: Spike already knows Sit and makes a great pupil. Check out a video he made with his best bud earlier this year, and you’ll see why he’s a staff favorite.
Other reasons he’s special: Spike came to us through Humane Law Enforcement and, for legal reasons, had to wait a long time to become available for adoption. That means that he’s been in our care since September 2011! This guy loves his friends at the ASPCA, but he’d like to go home ASAP.
Dream home: Spike would thrive with an energetic person who will take him running or play with him in a yard every day. (Not into running yourself? No biggie. Just toss him a toy or ball from your park bench and Spike will obligingly bring it back to you.) Be prepared to train this guy, and you’ll have an amazing dog on your hands! Teens and up, please.
***please remember to sweep the perimeter for UNUSUAL people and objects first.
of course SPIKE is on facebook. more photos of SPIKE and rescue angels oohing and aahing can be found HERE
and 375 "awes" "i'd take him but..." "i want him!!!" "poor baby!!!" "please find him a furever home!" "ME TOO!" "i love you spike!" "BLESS THE ASPCA!!!!!!!" "prayers for spike" "so sad please open your heart to this doggie!!!" and lots and lots of emoticons. it's enough to make you sick. why do so many people feel compelled to clog up the page with this nonsense? or do they think their collective well wishes will magically find him a home? in my mind and i suspect anyone not under the influence of pitter koolaid, the bigger the fuss, the more desperate they appear, the more desperate they appear the more likely they are hiding something. "The lady doth protest too much, methinks." but seriously, is there an ASPCA groupie capable of actually reading his profile and understanding the shit load of trouble SPIKE brings? EVERYTHING a critically thinking person needs to know is right there!
it's been almost 2 years and no one wants the pitdog with an unknown history, who is not a fan of unusual people or objects, barks at strangers, needs to run 5 miles a day in order to cuddle at night and plays too rough with other dogs. the ASPCA in all of their infinite wisdom and dog expertise brainstormed to jazz up SPIKE'S curb appeal. no tutus for SPIKE, he likely put a serious dent in the ASPCA pibble wardrobe playing too rough with them. instead they start an aggressive spread the word campaign to move his brindled wiggle brute outta there. so after a year in the shelter/rescue system, some dipshit came up with the bright idea to emphasize SPIKE'S einsteinian brain.
prepare to be wowed.
ooh... aaah... wow... ahmaaaazing... NOT!
all normal dogs, and i do literally mean ALL normal dogs AND puppies can do this, WITHOUT being taught. they are BORN with this ability. in fact, any normal dog can do this without pointing. normal dogs can do this just by watching the person's eyes look at the cup. don't believe me? click on Dogs Decoded. click on part 2. it is towards the beginning.